Saturday, August 11, 2007

My car was found!

Hi Everyone,

I hope this note finds you all well. The police "recovered" my car last week and it is what they describe as being in "excellent" shape. That basically means that there was no frame damage... all aesthetic... so my car is at the body shop being fixed and I should have it back at some point late next week. I'm very happy to have it back. It's a great little car, with tons of memories, not to mention it's paid for :-). All of the printing for Grace's Walk was still in the car. They just took some of my work stuff but nothing that isn't easy to replace. We ended up with the best of a bad situation which is always nice.

Ian continues to be busy with work and deck building. I'm busy with work and house stuff taking a stab at no cleaning lady in anticipation of being on a much tighter budget once I'm off work. My mom's going to repair a couple of pieces of Grace's crib linen so we can use it for Eli. I may start working on the nursery soon. All is well with the pregnancy. I packed on 8 pounds last month and when my OB broke into her "it's most likely a lot of water retention" speech I told her not to bother since my weight is so far down on the list of my priorities that I could care less if I put on 18 pounds last month. She told me that there was no need for me to be a "sacrificial lamb" in order to bare this baby. Which is true but really, what ever it takes... I'm game.

I continue to read in order to manage my existence without Grace. I'm reading an autobiography by Elizabeth Edwards (John Edwards' - Vice Presidential Candidate in last U.S. election- wife). She's probably best known for her battle with breast cancer but she is also surviving the death of her oldest son, Wade, who died in a car accident at age 17. After Wade died she and John decided to to have more children when she was 48 and then again at 50. Not to replace Wade but in hopes of injecting some joy back into there world. They still actively parent Wade's memory and her heart still aches 10 years post Wades death, but her younger children have provided some relief by injecting joy back into her daily routine. I guess this is also my hope, some relief in the form of simple joys. There are theories out there with regards to "Replacement Child Syndrome" (effecting children who are born after the death of an older sibling) and the difficulties involved in managing it but when having to choose between managing this or living a life without a child to parent on a daily basis, I'll choose the Replacement Child Syndrome. I do plan for Eli to know Grace well. It actually amazes me that Grace's best friend Nicky still speaks of her although she was just shy of three when Grace died. I was minding Nicky last week and she was sitting on our bed watching a T.V. show while I cleaned my en suite. She got down off the bed and came over when I started cleaning the tub and said "remember when Grace and I took a tub together in that tub?" Of course I did and I'm so grateful that she did as well. Seems likes Grace was here for such a short amount of time that there was such limited opportunity for her to make her mark in hopes of being remembered. I know Ian and I will live with her in our hearts forever, but it helps to know that she lives in the hearts of others as well.

Mama misses you baby.


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