Grace's 3rd Birthday
Hi Everyone,
I was hoping to Blog on Grace's 3rd Birthday, Monday Feb. 5th, but I was a disaster and couldn't pull it together enough to do so. Actually, in retrospect, the weekend leading up to her birthday proved to be more challenging than the actual day. I was physically sick with anticipation over how I would survive the day without her physically here from Friday on. I spent the majority of my days in bed, either crying to Ian in devastation or annoyed with him over trivial things that seemed all encompassing in the moment. I swear the 8th wonder of the world should be Ian and his ability to manage my instability. I did not work on Monday and when I woke up in the morning I lye in bed stunned with fear, wondering what I should do... get up, lye there, eat??? I'm not sure what I was fearful of, I just felt like nothing about the day could possibly be OK and I should not tempt fate by presenting any opportunity for things to become worse then they already were. Ian only worked a half day and convinced me we needed to let the day just be a day. He felt it was important to honour Grace (as I also did) but we honoured her existence everyday she was with us on earth, so really her birthday was just more of the same. He bought Grace a dozen pink roses and a Dora birthday cake. We decided it would be best to share the cake with Grace's best buddy's so we invited the Depaz's (Al, Jen, Moo, Jules, Nicky, Zen and their new addition D'lila - bulldog puppy) over. We all enjoyed KD and hot dogs (with ketchup of course) for dinner since this was Grace's favorite meal and had Dora cake for dessert. Al encouraged the kids to sing Happy Birthday loud enough so that Grace would hear them from heaven and although tears were shed, I feel we did the best we could under the circumstances we've been dealt. Yesterday I was still physically exhausted from my 4 days of emotional devastation but today I had a good day at work and things are full speed ahead with regards to Grace's Marketplace Fundraiser. For those of you who would like more information on this fundraiser that takes place this Saturday Feb. 10, please go to http://www.gracestanley.org/. Thank you so much to those of you who called, Emailed, dropped by and sent items to us in memory of Grace's 3rd Birthday... your kind wishes and gestures gave us much needed strength to manage the day. As you could probably imagine, one of the most difficult things about loosing a child is the fear that she will be forgotten and these gestures insured to us that Grace is not. We look forward to seeing you all at Grace's Marketplace Fundraiser in honour of her 3rd Birthday this Saturday. Proceeds are going to Brain Tumour Research at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto.
Mama misses you baby.
L~
P.S. Again, I forgot the puppy update. Not only is George fully potty trained but when he needs to go out he's learning how to ring a bell by the back door to let us know. He sits just with a hand signal and has proven to be a very smart boy.
I was hoping to Blog on Grace's 3rd Birthday, Monday Feb. 5th, but I was a disaster and couldn't pull it together enough to do so. Actually, in retrospect, the weekend leading up to her birthday proved to be more challenging than the actual day. I was physically sick with anticipation over how I would survive the day without her physically here from Friday on. I spent the majority of my days in bed, either crying to Ian in devastation or annoyed with him over trivial things that seemed all encompassing in the moment. I swear the 8th wonder of the world should be Ian and his ability to manage my instability. I did not work on Monday and when I woke up in the morning I lye in bed stunned with fear, wondering what I should do... get up, lye there, eat??? I'm not sure what I was fearful of, I just felt like nothing about the day could possibly be OK and I should not tempt fate by presenting any opportunity for things to become worse then they already were. Ian only worked a half day and convinced me we needed to let the day just be a day. He felt it was important to honour Grace (as I also did) but we honoured her existence everyday she was with us on earth, so really her birthday was just more of the same. He bought Grace a dozen pink roses and a Dora birthday cake. We decided it would be best to share the cake with Grace's best buddy's so we invited the Depaz's (Al, Jen, Moo, Jules, Nicky, Zen and their new addition D'lila - bulldog puppy) over. We all enjoyed KD and hot dogs (with ketchup of course) for dinner since this was Grace's favorite meal and had Dora cake for dessert. Al encouraged the kids to sing Happy Birthday loud enough so that Grace would hear them from heaven and although tears were shed, I feel we did the best we could under the circumstances we've been dealt. Yesterday I was still physically exhausted from my 4 days of emotional devastation but today I had a good day at work and things are full speed ahead with regards to Grace's Marketplace Fundraiser. For those of you who would like more information on this fundraiser that takes place this Saturday Feb. 10, please go to http://www.gracestanley.org/. Thank you so much to those of you who called, Emailed, dropped by and sent items to us in memory of Grace's 3rd Birthday... your kind wishes and gestures gave us much needed strength to manage the day. As you could probably imagine, one of the most difficult things about loosing a child is the fear that she will be forgotten and these gestures insured to us that Grace is not. We look forward to seeing you all at Grace's Marketplace Fundraiser in honour of her 3rd Birthday this Saturday. Proceeds are going to Brain Tumour Research at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto.
Mama misses you baby.
L~
P.S. Again, I forgot the puppy update. Not only is George fully potty trained but when he needs to go out he's learning how to ring a bell by the back door to let us know. He sits just with a hand signal and has proven to be a very smart boy.
posted by Lesley at 5:56 p.m.
1 Comments:
Hey Les,
I can only imagine how difficult Grace's Birthday was. It is so amazing that you all found the strength to celebrate the beautiful little girl who will always be remembered for the amazing little girl she was. May you continue to find the strength to get through each day and may Grace's memories always be close to your heart.
Thinking of you always,
Tracy
xo
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