Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Trip to Sick Kids

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I have not posted in a week, my internet has been giving me some difficulty. Ian and I have been keeping busy. As many of you are aware, Ian likes to build things and has been busy building shelves/storage closets in our basement and garage (this also helps him with his anxiety.) This weekend he worked with a friend to build a deck. Last week a cold slowed me down a bit but I enjoyed spending time close to home with friends and their kids. I miss parenting Grace so much. I try to find some comfort surrounding myself with my friends children. So last week I was going to blog about our first trip to The Hospital for Sick Children since Grace has died. Ian and I were in Toronto for a Raptors game and we planned to attend mass downtown that Sunday evening at St. Mikes since we had not gone to mass that morning. We got out of the game and had an hour before mass began so we decided to pick up a couple of pizzas and bring dinner to two families we know who are currently admitted to the bone marrow transplant ward at Sick Kids. Two children who received transplants at the same time as Grace have been readmitted to that ward since they are fighting graft vs. host disease (a possible complication of donor bone marrow transplants.) As soon as I entered the hospital my heart started to race. The elevator up to the 8th floor is always the worst. Most parents in the hospital are aware that the 8th floor is the oncology floor. When ever I would get in the elevator and press "8", I always felt that others were counting there blessings that although they were in the hospital, at least they were not on "8". We delivered the pizzas and had a quick visit with the two children we knew... both looked very unwell but are fighters and will hopefully regain their health. I hated being there although I would spend a million more days there if it meant being with my girl. When I left I realized how quickly I have forgotten the hell of hospital life. The constant anxiety associated with not knowing whether tomorrow will bring better or worse health for your child. Your inability to save your baby from the overwhelming pain of disease and endless medical procedures. Days... weeks, months with little sleep, no privacy, surviving purely on the dream that your baby will not be snatched from your arms by death. As soon as I returned home I Emailed my social worker asking to begin volunteering at the hospital in some capacity that may help parents survive these unbearable stays. I have to go through some training but should be able to begin volunteering soon. Please pray for the health of all the unwell children at Sick Kids but also remember the parents who want nothing more than to continue to have the opportunity to hug their children. I'm going to work with the hospital to hopefully come up with a way that we could possibility bring some comfort to these parents over the holidays. Please stay posted for more details.

Mama misses you baby.

P.S. Last week I received 7 more donation cards from the hospital drawing my attention to those of you who have place money in Grace's research fund. Thank-you all again so much for financially supporting brain tumour research at The Hospital for Sick Children. For those of you still interested in donating please visit www.sickkidsfoundation.com . Please designate your gift to The Grace Compagnon Stanley Tribute Fund. Thank you all again so much for keeping Grace's memory alive via brain tumour research.


Blogger christie said...

You are so strong Lesley, you will help the other parents so much during the holiday season.
You have such a gracious and giving heart. What a special person you are.

10:53 a.m.  
Blogger Karen said...

You are so strong. As I sit here and read (in between tears falling) what you have written, in the last couple of blog's I can say I know how you are feelings. I take comfort in knowing that Hannah and Grace are together running wild and singing Dora songs together. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

10:58 p.m.  

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