Cross eyed

Hi Everyone,

It's Monday, 8am, and after about 6 hours of medicated sleep I find myself sick with anxiety with regards to today's test. I was feeling good about things until yesterday when we noticed that Grace is going cross eyed. What does this mean?? I'm sure nothing good. I doubt it means that the tumour is getting smaller. It was so odd when it happened. I was carrying a load of laundry up from the basement when I heard my mom and Ian discussing that she looked cross eyed. I dropped the load of laundry and with horror dashed over and started abruptly questioning their observation as though they must have been mistaken. After the administration of some pain meds her energy level seemed to return to "normal" but her eye still seemed off. Why was I so shocked? I've been told that she's dying. I'm aware that many children with brain tumours go cross eyed as a result of their disease. Why was I so terribly caught off guard? Once things settled down I went upstairs and tried to digest the events of the past hour. Then I questioned why my phone wasn't ringing off the hook with inquiries about Grace's health? For some reason I felt that everyone should stop what they were doing and acknowledge this devastating change in events. I'm really not sure why I felt like this, she's my baby, no one else's. It just seemed too huge for my sole recognition to be enough. But as the world continued to revolve and people continued with there Sunday afternoon activities, Grace was deteriorating.
L~