Grace's 4th Birthday
Hi Everyone,
Well, Tuesday Grace would have been turning 4. I've begun the downward emotional spiral that I'm assuming may accompany this date forever. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety, crying constantly and just devistated with circumstances. I don't know why I tourture my self constantly trying to guess as to what she would be like at this age if she were still with us on earth. I rarely have an experiance without thinking of how Grace would be fitting into things. Even simple little things like seeing a friend's child's class picture made me contimplate whether she would have sat in the front row or stood in the back row (due to her height) in her kindergarden class photo. Tonight as I mashed potates for dinner, I wondered if she would have liked mashed potatoes. She is just a part of me... everything I do, feel, think. She will always be a part of me. I miss her terribly.
Eli is wonderful... sleeping right now. As soon as you think you have a schedule because he is consistant for 2 or 3 days in a row... things change. I'm not sure how a 7:30pm nap is going to fit into things but he was tired so he's sleeping. At least I think it's a nap... maybe he's down for the night... I don't know. Either way he's wonderful. Big, bright eyed and happy. He's still up 2 or 3 times a night but even when he wakes up at night, he's happy. He's a blessing and I'm not sure where I'd be without him.
We have two fundraisers coming up. A golf tournament on May 24th and our annual walk on Sept. 7. Stay posted for details.
Looks like it was a nap... Eli's up, gotta go.
Mama misses you baby.
L~
Well, Tuesday Grace would have been turning 4. I've begun the downward emotional spiral that I'm assuming may accompany this date forever. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety, crying constantly and just devistated with circumstances. I don't know why I tourture my self constantly trying to guess as to what she would be like at this age if she were still with us on earth. I rarely have an experiance without thinking of how Grace would be fitting into things. Even simple little things like seeing a friend's child's class picture made me contimplate whether she would have sat in the front row or stood in the back row (due to her height) in her kindergarden class photo. Tonight as I mashed potates for dinner, I wondered if she would have liked mashed potatoes. She is just a part of me... everything I do, feel, think. She will always be a part of me. I miss her terribly.
Eli is wonderful... sleeping right now. As soon as you think you have a schedule because he is consistant for 2 or 3 days in a row... things change. I'm not sure how a 7:30pm nap is going to fit into things but he was tired so he's sleeping. At least I think it's a nap... maybe he's down for the night... I don't know. Either way he's wonderful. Big, bright eyed and happy. He's still up 2 or 3 times a night but even when he wakes up at night, he's happy. He's a blessing and I'm not sure where I'd be without him.
We have two fundraisers coming up. A golf tournament on May 24th and our annual walk on Sept. 7. Stay posted for details.
Looks like it was a nap... Eli's up, gotta go.
Mama misses you baby.
L~
posted by Lesley at 7:37 p.m.
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